The Moment Everything Changed
It was three days after Dee and I had been rescued from a Colorado blizzard that had nearly taken our lives. We were alive—but Dee’s feet and hands were frozen solid and coal black from frostbite. Her doctors told me the tissue was dying, gangrene would set in, and they would need to amputate both of her feet and all of her fingers to save her life.
That night, I collapsed on the floor of our home, staring at her running shoes by the door. Shoes she would never wear again. I cried until morning, feeling more powerless than I ever had in my life.
And then something extraordinary happened. After hours of despair, I drifted off to sleep. In those quiet hours, my subconscious did what it had been doing my entire life—it decided to be happy. Not happy if she recovered. Not happy when she recovered. But happy right then, in the face of total uncertainty.
When I woke, I jumped up with a smile, raced to the hospital, kissed Dee, and told her she would make a complete recovery.
That single decision—made in the darkest moment—gave us optimism, resilience, and hope. And that, in turn, gave Dee the courage to fight for her recovery.
Happiness Isn’t What Happens to Us
Most people think happiness is something that happens when circumstances line up:
- I’ll be happy when I get the promotion.
- I’ll be happy when I meet the right partner.
- I’ll be happy when I buy the new car.
But here’s the truth: happiness isn’t the result—it’s the starting point.
When you decide to be happy first, it changes how you approach challenges, relationships, and opportunities. You stop waiting for life to deliver perfect conditions, and you start creating happiness in the moment.
Hedonic vs. Eudaimonic Happiness
Science backs this up. Researchers at Yale and Harvard distinguish between two types of happiness:
- Hedonic happiness: fleeting pleasure from things like a new car, a raise, or your favorite dessert. It feels good—but it fades quickly. Psychologists call this hedonic adaptation. That new car? In six months, it’s just your car.
- Eudaimonic happiness: a deeper, more lasting happiness that comes from meaning, growth, and purpose. It’s not about what you own—it’s about who you’re becoming.
When you decide to be happy, you’re choosing eudaimonic happiness. You’re anchoring yourself in purpose, gratitude, and growth.
Why Happiness Matters at Work
You might wonder what this has to do with leadership and business. Everything.
Happiness is not just personal—it’s a performance driver. Research from the University of Oxford found that happy employees are 13% more productive than their less satisfied peers.
Organizations spend millions on compensation, perks, and recognition programs. But none of it works long-term if employees don’t know how to create happiness for themselves.
The solution? Teach people that happiness is a skill—and a decision. Happy employees are more engaged, more loyal, and more innovative.
The Power of Choosing in Uncertainty
Dee’s feet and hands were black and lifeless and the doctors were certain amputation was the only way forward. Then one evening, as a nurse was changing her bandages and Dee was writhing in pain the doctor ordered morphine to numb her suffering.
But Dee stunned everyone. With her tiny frame curled in agony, she shouted, “NO!” Then she added, “That’s life coming back into my feet, and I want to feel it.”
Her bravery inspired everyone in the room. The nurses lowered their eyes. The doctors exchanged a silent glance, then inspired by her bravery decided on a new course of treatment, saying, “Everyone here is going to do everything we can to save your feet.” From that moment onwards there was no more talk of amputations.
Her refusal of morphine was not denial—it was a decision. Just like mine on the floor at home, Dee decided to be happy and resilient, not in some distant future, but in the middle of uncertainty and pain. And her decision lifted those around her to believe as well.
Three Steps to Decide on Happiness
Step 1. Create a Happier Past
We all have painful past experiences. But those stories don’t have to be anchors. Choose to rewrite them. Ask: What else could this mean? What lesson did I learn? How can I use this to grow? Tell yourself the new version until it becomes your truth.
Step 2. Practice Daily Gratitude
Happiness thrives in the present moment. Every day, write down three things you’re grateful for. Gratitude rewires your brain to notice positives instead of negatives—and that shift compounds over time.
Step 3. Choose Your State Before Circumstances Do
Don’t wait for conditions to be perfect. Happiness is a pre-decision, not a reaction. Decide to be happy first, and then face your challenges with optimism and resilience.
Lessons from Leaders and Athletes
When I filmed Olympic athletes and Fortune 500 CEOs, I noticed something consistent. They didn’t wait for results to feel good. They decided to show up with energy, optimism, and confidence—before they knew the outcome.
An Olympic coach once told me, “We train athletes to be happy and focused before race day, no matter the weather or conditions. Winning starts with the mindset you choose.”
A CEO explained, “I don’t wait for the market to smile on us. I show up every day deciding to enjoy the work, and my people take their cues from that.”
The highest achievers weren’t the ones with the smoothest circumstances. They were the ones who decided how to think and feel, regardless of circumstances.
The Takeaway
That night on the floor staring at my wife’s shoes, I felt powerless. But when my subconscious chose happiness—not someday, not later, but right then in the face of total uncertainty—everything changed.
Dee kept her feet, her hands, and her life. And we both gained an unshakable belief in the power of choice.
Happiness is not the result of life going right—it’s the decision that makes life go right.
So the next time you face uncertainty, don’t postpone happiness. Choose it.